Life On The Other Side

Many moons have passed since I last updated here. Plain and simple, I’ve been busy. Our son is almost seven weeks old and like any seven week old, he needs a lot of attention. We’ve been sleep deprived while enjoying every minute with him. He’s grown quite a bit and you’d never know he was premature.

Some other milestones to note since the last update… the hubby and I celebrated my 37th birthday on June 14th and our first wedding anniversary on June 17th. It was also a joyous first father’s day for the hubby! I can’t believe we’ve been married one year already! It really seems like we’ve been married a lot longer but in a good way. We really enjoy each other’s company and we are really each other’s best friend. We’ve done quite a few things this past year together and look forward to doing more with our son.

Just a little over two months shy of my first wedding anniversary and all I can say is I love my husband even more today than I did the day I married him. Yes it is possible to love someone more today than you did the day before and the day before that! I never thought I’d be privy to this kind of love ever. I don’t fall in or out of love easily, and I thought I could never find the one person who could make me feel this way.

He makes me feel beautiful even when I don’t feel that alluring. He finds just the right thing to say to make me smile. And he knows just the right spots to tickle to make me laugh. He holds me when I need to be held. He senses when I need time to myself. He is my soulmate. A friend recently asked me how would she know if someone was the ONE. I told her she would know. It’s not that I knew my husband was the ONE when I first met him but that time told me he was the ONE. I think you know and sense that the person standing in front of you was meant to stand there for the rest of your life. Yes, I know nothing is a guarantee but for the moment you know and you believe.

It took a long time for my husband and I to find each other. It took many moments before we both knew. Maybe one of us knew before the other but not until the time we stood in front of each other did we know: Yes, you are the ONE! I can’t wait to share the love that my husband and I have for each other with the newest member of our family. Yes, we do love him and we always have but to have him share in these moments with us in person will be even more wonderful.

Right now I am obsessed with the HBO original series Big Love. I am not nor will I ever be a proponent of polygamy or any other multiple spouse type of arrangement. I think the most fascinating part of the show is how this one man tries to balance his time between three wives and three families. Frankly, I can barely balance my time with my one husband and my one family so thinking about having to rotate between another two seems impossible. Of course I’m speaking from the standpoint of a woman so maybe it’s a little easier for a man though I highly doubt it. Polygamy itself used to be associated with the LDS in Utah but was outlawed by the Church in the late 1800s. However, it seems that there are certain factions within that religion that still support such a lifestyle going against the Church’s view.

My main interest in this show stems from my time in Las Vegas. Despite the city’s reputation, there is a very large Mormon population there. Of the Mormons I have known or do know, none of them practice or subscribe to the polygamy lifestyle. I know from watching several types of news shows that polygamy still exists in Utah and some other parts of the United States. I wonder how a show like this will affect how people view or feel about it. I also wonder how the Mormon population including the Mormon Church feels about a show like this one. I’m sure there will be some controversy if there hasn’t been any already.

What a way to ring in the New Year… some Dick Clark on the tube and a kiss or two or three from my husband! We’re so not the types to go out on New Year’s Eve and be in the middle of crowds. Instead, we spent the better part of the evening enjoying each other’s company and snuggling. I can’t think of a better way to start off 2006. Earlier this evening, I said to the hubby that I can’t believe we’ll be parents, responsible for another human being. It’s just amazing and surreal at the same time. I think I will believe it when I get to hold my child in my arms for the first time. Well it’s a bit after midnight and time for bed… more later!

It’s wonderful to see men enjoying fatherhood. Two of my husband’s college friends emailed us to let us know their wives had given birth. Both couples and their newly born baby girls are doing fine and just in time for their first Christmas. My husband eagerly called them to send our congratulations and to let them know that, he too, would soon be a father. I gathered from overhearing the conversations there were lots of excitement all around. I’m sure it’s exciting to see the changes they’ve all gone through since their early days of college. Most of my husband’s friends are married and have children now. Only one of his friends is neither married or has any children. Before I came into the picture, I suspect my hubby and this last single frined wondered who would be the “last man standing.” I think to some degree, the hubby was relieved it wasn’t him but then again it just happened that way. Don’t think that he would get married so that he didn’t have to be the last one out there.

On the other hand, several of my college friends are still unmarried with no children. Of the ones married, they don’t have any children. What does that say when it comes of men versus women? While not all of my college friends are women, most of them are. In fact, most of my college women friends are older than I am. I used to wonder if I would ever get married but I never felt the pressure to since most of my friends were not. I think you feel the pressure when you start getting together with your friends and they show up with boyfriends or girlfriends and eventually spouses and children. I am sorry to say that I haven’t had the opportunity to meet some of my friend’s spouses or children because I rarely get back home to Hawaii. And even when I do, the trip is usually short and not convenient for friends that work. I hope that changes and the hubby and I can go there soon either before or soon after the baby is able to.

For the past month or so, I’ve been alluding to some news that I wasn’t prepared to tell y’all yet. Well the time has come to “let the cat out of the bag” or for more accurate purposes, letting the BABY out of the bag! Yes, the hubby and I are going to be parents! We are just a week shy of the end of the first trimester and the estimated due date of our little one is June 16th, two days after my birthday and one day before our anniversary. We are thrilled and couldn’t be more happier. We’ve had a few prenatal appointments and so far everything is going well. Today we heard the baby’s heartbeat through a doppler… whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.

No, we don’t know the gender of the baby yet though we plan on finding out when the time comes (about 20 weeks). And, yes, we do have names picked out but we won’t be revealing them as we still have a few months to change our minds. While this is such an exciting time for us, we’ve also been rather cautious since we did suffer a miscarriage a couple months prior to this pregnancy. I’ve learned a lot about being pregnant just from my miscarriage to this pregnancy that I never knew. I am somewhat dumbfounded when it comes to what I know and didn’t know about being pregnant. So far it’s been an wonderful experience and I look forward to my second trimester known as the “honeymoon period.” Supposedly most women experience the “glow” because they don’t have the morning sickness anymore and can enjoy their pregnancy. So far I’ve been enjoying mine with a few minor worries.

Our families are thrilled at the news and seem to want to know as much as we do when it comes to our appointments. Now that I am going to be a parent myself, I can tell you that my view of the world is changing everyday. Funny how you start to worry about your child even before they are born.

I somehow cannot believe that in 24 days it’ll be Christmas. Ask me if I’ve gotten any Christmas shopping done? Yes, I have but very, very minimal. Ask me if I’ve started my Christmas cards? Does buying them count? I’ve bought them but haven’t started them. At least we have our tiny but festive Christmas tree up. Unfortunately we couldn’t get a living tree because of our overly curious cat so the artificial one will do for now. It’s got lights and glass balls on it. The glass balls remind me of Christmas as a child. It’s true when they say everything comes back in style again because those vintage glass balls are certainly popular once again. I remember the cardboard boxes they came in and how, as each year passed, the boxes aged. Seeing those vintage ornaments reminds me so much of Christmas’s past.

This year will be our first Christmas together as husband and wife, and really the first one we get to spend with each other. Last year we were a couple thousand miles apart and I have to admit that I felt rather lonely. This year it’s been nice to see Christmas lights together and just be able to experience the Christmas season together as a family. Yes, he and I are a family now. It sometimes feels strange that I have my own family now but I do even though it’s just the hubby and I now. We haven’t quite decided what our traditions will be but I’m sure we’ll figure something out as the years go by and we celebrate more and more Christmas’s together.

The hubby knows he cannot come home with a ribbon-tied box and expect me to look at it the next month without intense curiosity. Ever since we’ve known each other, he knows how much I cannot stand surprises especially being “teased” about them. Last night during his dinner break from work, he brings home a red box with a white ribbon and tells me it’s a Christmas present. Of course I am so curious that I practically “beg” him to tell me what this present is. It doesn’t take long for him to breakdown and let me open the present. Inside the box I find two charms for a tag bracelet that he gave me as a birthday gift. The charms are a sterling silver Buddha and a pair of, well I can’t really say at this moment but soon. It was a delightful gift and a charming addition to my bracelet. Personally I think he was just as excited to see me open the gift even though he wanted to torture me with it.

When I was living in Las Vegas, my family (my mom, aunt & uncle, and a couple of other relatives) would all roll into town during Thanksgiving week. Of course, sometimes I thought they came to visit the slot machines more than they visited me but it wasn’t really true. They knew I was working a lot and this was their way of spending time with me. While some people might find it tiring to spend time with these seniors, I always enjoyed my time with them. My mom is 40 years older than I am and the youngest of the group so you can guess that the others range from a couple years or more older than her. I enjoyed my time being around them and essentially being their “guide” or “chauffer.” I also knew that someday we wouldn’t have times like these because of their advancing ages. After the last five or so years of spending Thanksgiving with them in Vegas, I won’t be doing that this year. Yes, they will all be there but I will remain in my new home in North Carolina and spending the time with my new husband and in-laws. I don’t mind the changes but I do miss my family. Certain circumstances prevented me from making plans ahead of time to meet them there. But marriage brings about new changes and new routines. It’ll be nice to have the in-laws visiting and I always have a wonderful time with them. I’m sure the hubby is happy that I’ll be around too. He’s been working a lot and the mad rush of the season hasn’t even started. Perhaps we will think about getting away after the new year when things calm down a bit.

Seems like the entries here are far and few in between. I am sorry for that and will try to be a little better this month. Well Halloween came and went without much whoop-de-do for us. We got a pumpkin to carve that has yet to see the glint of a knife and a bowl of candy that remains full sans a few pieces given out to some older trick-or-treaters. It’s difficult when you live in an apartment complex because of the turnover in residents. There is no established neighborhood to speak of and people don’t know one another. I have only met one of my neighbors who is an older woman that has been consistently gone over the last couple of months. Everyone else keeps to their own business like we do.

I have noticed that some of the trees are aflame with color now. We don’t get it as much here as you would in the mountains but we do get our share of the autumn colors. What a truly beautiful sight to see the reds and oranges of the leaves. I must remember to take a walk and pick some up to keep as well as take some pictures.

Today the hubby is 38 years old. I think he had a great birthday this year. We visited with his parents and his brother and sis-in-law over the weekend down in Georgia where all of us went out to dinner. Got got some gifts and even one from our cat (grin). Last night he and I went out to dinner since tonight he is at work and also had cake when we came home. He certainly doesn’t look a day over 30 and I suspect it will be many years before his looks ever catch up to his age. This morning he was reminiscing about his birthdays over the last couple of years and the wonderful things it has brought. Two years ago we “met” for the first time and who would have thought that one year ago we would be engaged at this time. This year, well, that particular wonderful thing cannot be talked about. I know the hubs feels like he is a lucky man.