Life On The Other Side

Just a little over two months shy of my first wedding anniversary and all I can say is I love my husband even more today than I did the day I married him. Yes it is possible to love someone more today than you did the day before and the day before that! I never thought I’d be privy to this kind of love ever. I don’t fall in or out of love easily, and I thought I could never find the one person who could make me feel this way.

He makes me feel beautiful even when I don’t feel that alluring. He finds just the right thing to say to make me smile. And he knows just the right spots to tickle to make me laugh. He holds me when I need to be held. He senses when I need time to myself. He is my soulmate. A friend recently asked me how would she know if someone was the ONE. I told her she would know. It’s not that I knew my husband was the ONE when I first met him but that time told me he was the ONE. I think you know and sense that the person standing in front of you was meant to stand there for the rest of your life. Yes, I know nothing is a guarantee but for the moment you know and you believe.

It took a long time for my husband and I to find each other. It took many moments before we both knew. Maybe one of us knew before the other but not until the time we stood in front of each other did we know: Yes, you are the ONE! I can’t wait to share the love that my husband and I have for each other with the newest member of our family. Yes, we do love him and we always have but to have him share in these moments with us in person will be even more wonderful.

From my wonderful husband on this day of love! He is not only my husband but my best friend, the father of our child, my lover and my partner in life. I couldn’t ask for anything more in a soulmate; he is the perfect person for me.

I know it’s been almost a week since my last post. I can’t say that I’ve been extremely busy though I’ve spent some time consoling a good friend from afar who is having “boy” troubles. While it seems that their relationship has almost “bit the dust,” it isn’t quite dead. Talking to her reminded me of my past “boy” troubles and how long ago that all seemed. Somehow it seems appropo to talk about it being the month of February with Valentine’s Day just around the corner. I don’t know how many women or even men can forget their first love especially when they are no longer with that person? It seems that first love leaves an indelible impression on us throughout our lives. It’s not to say that that person was the right one for us in any way. I know for myself, that person wasn’t the one to spend the rest of my life with nor would I ever change what happened. I lived, I loved and I lost, but I also survived. It’s difficult to get across to my friend right now that she will survive and that for whatever reason it was a good thing this relationship didn’t work for her. While she laments over the fact that he could have been the one, I tell her that if he was the one he would have been. She’s a bit younger than I am (she, 27 while I’m 36) but feels so ready for the next phase of her life = marriage, kids, the whole nine yards. When I was 27, I was still figuring out where my life was headed and it wasn’t until I was 34 that the prospect of marriage, kids and the whole nine yards became apparent. It wasn’t because I was finally ready to settle down but because it was the right time to meet the right person. That’s what I tell my friend: you’ll meet the right person and you’ll know that he is the one for you. In this present relationship, she feels second place, unimportant, always trying but never getting anywhere, not ever happy, etc., etc. I told her that a relationship has its ups and downs but that she should feel happy about it and not questioning every single thing. I know things will work itself out that way it should for her.

I know after the break up with my first love, I felt like my world was crumbling. I never thought I would be able to move on but I did. I don’t know how long I was heartbroken but it did take a long time for me to heal. I don’t even mean from the immediate break up but from the hurt and doubt in myself. Admittedly, I was scared when I began having strong feelings for the hubby. I can’t believe after several years, the hurt from this first love relationship could affect me still. But I realized that it was because I was in love. I didn’t just like the hubby but that I was in love with him. As beautiful as love can be, it was also be a cruel reminder of how our world can be shattered in an instant. So while I was scared, I also realized that I could love the way I loved before and that this person loved me the way I should be loved. He makes me the center of his universe and with him I feel deeply loved and protected. So while I don’t regret my first love, it is really this love that matters. It’s everyday and not only days like Valentine’s Day that I remember how lucky I am. I hope my friend can find this type of love and realize that she deserves more that she is getting right now.

What a way to ring in the New Year… some Dick Clark on the tube and a kiss or two or three from my husband! We’re so not the types to go out on New Year’s Eve and be in the middle of crowds. Instead, we spent the better part of the evening enjoying each other’s company and snuggling. I can’t think of a better way to start off 2006. Earlier this evening, I said to the hubby that I can’t believe we’ll be parents, responsible for another human being. It’s just amazing and surreal at the same time. I think I will believe it when I get to hold my child in my arms for the first time. Well it’s a bit after midnight and time for bed… more later!

For the past month or so, I’ve been alluding to some news that I wasn’t prepared to tell y’all yet. Well the time has come to “let the cat out of the bag” or for more accurate purposes, letting the BABY out of the bag! Yes, the hubby and I are going to be parents! We are just a week shy of the end of the first trimester and the estimated due date of our little one is June 16th, two days after my birthday and one day before our anniversary. We are thrilled and couldn’t be more happier. We’ve had a few prenatal appointments and so far everything is going well. Today we heard the baby’s heartbeat through a doppler… whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.

No, we don’t know the gender of the baby yet though we plan on finding out when the time comes (about 20 weeks). And, yes, we do have names picked out but we won’t be revealing them as we still have a few months to change our minds. While this is such an exciting time for us, we’ve also been rather cautious since we did suffer a miscarriage a couple months prior to this pregnancy. I’ve learned a lot about being pregnant just from my miscarriage to this pregnancy that I never knew. I am somewhat dumbfounded when it comes to what I know and didn’t know about being pregnant. So far it’s been an wonderful experience and I look forward to my second trimester known as the “honeymoon period.” Supposedly most women experience the “glow” because they don’t have the morning sickness anymore and can enjoy their pregnancy. So far I’ve been enjoying mine with a few minor worries.

Our families are thrilled at the news and seem to want to know as much as we do when it comes to our appointments. Now that I am going to be a parent myself, I can tell you that my view of the world is changing everyday. Funny how you start to worry about your child even before they are born.

The hubby knows he cannot come home with a ribbon-tied box and expect me to look at it the next month without intense curiosity. Ever since we’ve known each other, he knows how much I cannot stand surprises especially being “teased” about them. Last night during his dinner break from work, he brings home a red box with a white ribbon and tells me it’s a Christmas present. Of course I am so curious that I practically “beg” him to tell me what this present is. It doesn’t take long for him to breakdown and let me open the present. Inside the box I find two charms for a tag bracelet that he gave me as a birthday gift. The charms are a sterling silver Buddha and a pair of, well I can’t really say at this moment but soon. It was a delightful gift and a charming addition to my bracelet. Personally I think he was just as excited to see me open the gift even though he wanted to torture me with it.

Seems like the entries here are far and few in between. I am sorry for that and will try to be a little better this month. Well Halloween came and went without much whoop-de-do for us. We got a pumpkin to carve that has yet to see the glint of a knife and a bowl of candy that remains full sans a few pieces given out to some older trick-or-treaters. It’s difficult when you live in an apartment complex because of the turnover in residents. There is no established neighborhood to speak of and people don’t know one another. I have only met one of my neighbors who is an older woman that has been consistently gone over the last couple of months. Everyone else keeps to their own business like we do.

I have noticed that some of the trees are aflame with color now. We don’t get it as much here as you would in the mountains but we do get our share of the autumn colors. What a truly beautiful sight to see the reds and oranges of the leaves. I must remember to take a walk and pick some up to keep as well as take some pictures.

Today the hubby is 38 years old. I think he had a great birthday this year. We visited with his parents and his brother and sis-in-law over the weekend down in Georgia where all of us went out to dinner. Got got some gifts and even one from our cat (grin). Last night he and I went out to dinner since tonight he is at work and also had cake when we came home. He certainly doesn’t look a day over 30 and I suspect it will be many years before his looks ever catch up to his age. This morning he was reminiscing about his birthdays over the last couple of years and the wonderful things it has brought. Two years ago we “met” for the first time and who would have thought that one year ago we would be engaged at this time. This year, well, that particular wonderful thing cannot be talked about. I know the hubs feels like he is a lucky man.

There is a lot going on in our household that will have to be kept just to us for now. I think I’ve exceeded the stress maximum amount of stress level for the year and it’s only October! I am loving the cool weather right now which is just cool enough not to sweat and warm enough that I can still put on some shorts during the day. But all of that is ending soon and in about another week I think the highs during the day will only get up to somewhere in the 60s on some days and in the very low 70s other days. This also means that it’ll be high season for the leaves changing color from greens to oranges to reds to browns. I hope to get a few pictures of the changing season.

I’ve been thinking more and more about writing letters lately after Gia-Gina in Italy posted this entry in her blog about letter writing. You can check it out by clicking on her website under my links area to the right. I can’t seem to get this blog program to appropriately do a link even with the right coding. I have received a few cards from friends in the last few months but not really a letter. Of course I am to blame as well since I haven’t written any letters myself. It is indeed a dying practice and I know a lot of it has come about because of computers and email. I know while my husband and I were still doing the long distance relationship thing, I sat down and wrote a love letter to him. I think he was surprised and delighted to receive it. So I think I will sit down and write a few letters to old friends, to new friends and maybe even to my husband.

The hubby and I had a wonderful weekend all around. Friday night we decided to take a look at the Pineville Fall Festival which consisted of mostly kiddie rides and food booths. The festival itself wasn’t overly crowded and the night was beautiful with an almost full moon shining overhead. We were thinking about staying for the fireworks after the entertainment but it was getting a little cold. Saturday we ventured out to Waxhaw for their Autumn Treasures Festival. This was more of a street festival with booths selling arts and crafts products, and some food items. I think the best thing the hubby had were the mini donuts which were $3 for 14 of them. He even had a couple left over for me and they were delicious! We also walked around the historic downtown Waxhaw going into several antique shops but unfortunately didn’t see anything we really wanted to purchase. The day was beautiful and, again, it wasn’t crowded. Sunday we didn’t do much except run errands. The weather has just been gorgeous lately and we are beginning to see more and more of the changing of the leaves. I think in another couple of weeks, we will be in full blown autumn.

I certainly can’t believe it’s the middle of October already. Today the hubby and I have been married for four months. I am amazed everytime I look over and see him sitting next to me. Just when I thought I was destined to be a spinster, here he came. I love the relationship we have and all that it brings and will bring. Happy four month anniversary, hubs! I love you more today than any other day before this one. I promise after the first year I’ll only count the yearly ones.

The hubs and I are coming up on our four month wedding anniversary. Soon we will be able to say that we were married longer than Renee and Kenny. Okay, I know that wasn’t funny but it’s so true. Actually I think we’ve got Renee and Kenny beat anyways because we knew each other longer than they did. More importantly, this month and next brings a couple of notable dates for the hubs and I. The wonderful boy asked me to marry him on Oct. 27th of last year and we officially began communicating on eHarmony on Nov. 2nd, two years ago. It just happens that the hubs birthday is Nov. 2nd as well and I’d like to think that I was a special present he didn’t expect to receive (wink, wink). I have a friend who also met her boy (well he’s not quite her boy yet) on eHarmony and hopefully will get to meet him in person for the first time soon. It’s taken them almost two years to get to this point but their story is a little different than the hubs and I. I hope their first meeting is just as wonderful as ours were especially since it’ll take place in almost the same place the hubby and I first laid eyes on each other.

Nothing much or rather nothing of interest going on here; still trying to get over this cold or flu or whatever. There’s still a “frog” in my throat that seems to creep back up in the mornings and doesn’t want to go away. The weather has been rainy the last few days. It’s been nice to have this rain which isn’t heavy or stormy. We’ve put up a bird feeder on our patio to attract the many birds that are still around this time of the year. We had been looking for a hummingbird feeder but stumbled upon a wildbird feeded at Target at a very good price. For less than $10, we got a nice feeder and a big bag of bird feed. The cat seems to enjoy the birds more than she enjoys the stray cats that come for food we leave on the patio. Luckily the bird feeder is up and away from the stray kitties. There are other things on my mind but it’s not for here or there.