Life On The Other Side

I don’t like to make any resolutions, especially for the New Year. If you must know why, it’s because I’m the quintessential rooster. What I mean isn’t summarized in the description in the link but what my mom always told me growing up. She told me I have no patience for things and she’s right. I’m one of those people that would read a book cover to cover in one sitting if I could. Or I had to finish a puzzle from start to finish NOW and not in stages. Forget teaching me things like crocheting, knitting, or cross stitching because if I couldn’t finish it quickly, I’d leave it and never come back to it. My mom equated this to the life of a chicken which could not stay in one place pecking at food for long. The chicken would peck, peck here and then move and peck, peck there. She would tell me that I had no patience and that I would leave things unfinished.

I admit there are things in my life that are unfinished. But who doesn’t have things unfinished? But there are things that I have finished in my life so don’t think that I never finish anything. As far as resolutions go, there’s not much I’d like to resolve this year except to have a smooth pregnancy and birth, and be the best mother and wife I can be. Yes, these are quite open-ended but I rather resolve to do something open-ended than not do anything at all. I wish I could be one of those people that would resolve to lose weight, climb a mountain, or read all the classics but I rather not because I would feel like quite the failure if I never complete each or any of those. Hopefully I’ll come back to this entry in a year and smile with accomplishment instead of shake my head in disgust.

It’s the fifth day of the New Year and not really much going on. The hubby is working hard as usual and we’re still trying to clean up after the holidays. Actually I’m trying to clean up and don’t seem to have the energy to do so. This morning I woke up with a serious case of the blahs. I’m really not sure what’s causing it except that perhaps my hormones are out of whack and thus making me have some rollercoaster emotions. I guess I’m both excited and scared about this baby. Excited because I’ve always wanted to have a child but also scared because of how my life or rather our lives will change. I know things will be difficult but I don’t think it was easy for anyone having a child. If it was, I’d be very surprise. I think things will be okay and that having this child will be the light of our lives. We are seriously ready to have a family despite being married only a short while.

Other than that, there are many things going through my mind lately. I really can’t or rather don’t want to talk about them at the moment. Hopefully I’ll feel better in a few days.

I don’t know why I’m always nervous before my prenatal appointments but I am. We had one this morning and like always, things are just moving along great! I gained a whole 2 pounds despite some of what I ate during the holidays, my blood pressure was great, the doctor felt my uterus and had me feel it so I knew where it is, and we heard the heartbeat. In a couple of weeks we have our “big” ultrasound and find out how our baby is developing and whether we’ll be having a boy or a girl.

Our New Year’s weekend was nice and quiet. The hubby worked on Saturday but had Sunday and Monday off. We went back to the baby superstore to test out yet more strollers and also to the big red circle store. In the end, we think we found one we’d like to get. We’re still undecided about the crib but luckily there’s still time. We need to think about reconfiguring our home and start doing it before I am unable to. We’re still doing more research online about products but there is so much information out there that it’s information overload! I think that I’d rather get advice from people who have actually used the products because that seems more valuable to me than just reading blind reviews.

What a way to ring in the New Year… some Dick Clark on the tube and a kiss or two or three from my husband! We’re so not the types to go out on New Year’s Eve and be in the middle of crowds. Instead, we spent the better part of the evening enjoying each other’s company and snuggling. I can’t think of a better way to start off 2006. Earlier this evening, I said to the hubby that I can’t believe we’ll be parents, responsible for another human being. It’s just amazing and surreal at the same time. I think I will believe it when I get to hold my child in my arms for the first time. Well it’s a bit after midnight and time for bed… more later!

It’s been a good year for me with lots of changes, more than I could have imagined one year ago. The year started off a bit rocky with some family stife, mine specifically, and a trip to California for the fiance (now husband) to meet my side of the family. What could have proved to be end of the beginning turned out to be okay after all. The next few months were a blur as I prepared to leave a job I had for 5 years at a place I was at for 10 years. In addition, I had to leave the city that I called home for the last 10 years and move 2,200 miles to be with my future husband. Seems like the end of April was another blur as good friends threw me a bridal shower and helped me pack up my life and get me on the road. With the fiance (husband) driving and the most saddest cat in the world locked in a carrier, I left the lights of Sin City for my new home in the southeast.

The first couple of months here were busy as I finished up preparation for my wedding out West in Los Angeles (long story) and who said procrastination doesn’t pay off as I waited until almost the last minute to finish up things like the program, place cards, etc. After a glorious and beautiful week in Los Angeles, we returned as husband and wife to set up our lovely home. It hasn’t been quite as difficult as I thought it might be going from living single to living as a couple. The hubby was (is) good about sharing his space and letting me “nest.” His place has gone from a true bachelor pad to one that reflects both of us.

We found out in late August we were pregnant only to suffer a miscarriage in early Sept. Nothing major caused it just nature’s way of letting us know “just not yet.” Well a couple of months after that, we discovered we were expecting again and now here we are 16 weeks and two days and counting. Though we’ve only been married a short while, we’re ready to have a family. It’s actually something we talked about before got married and though it would be nice to be a little more settled, we know this is the right time for us.

I’ve (We’ve) gone through a lot of changes in 2005 and I know there’s more in store for me (us) in 2006. The prospect of starting a family is a bit scary for me and I hope I can be the kind of wife and mother that would make my husband proud. Have a wonderful and safe celebration as you ring in the New Year. We don’t have much plans except to enjoy our first New Years together in the same place with a kiss at midnight. See you in 2006!

My hubby dubbed this year’s Christmas as the “H***** Family Christmas Experience.” This is the first year I celebrated Christmas with his family since I am now officially part of the “family.” Last year I had the ancillary Christmas experience as the fiance who was over 2,000 miles away and that was still a bit overwhelming with a number of things his parents got me.

I didn’t know what to expect when the hubby said his mom goes “all out” for Christmas. What he meant was that they (his parents) decorate a live Christmas tree which was absolutely beautiful. In addition, a train runs around the tree and there are little decorations throughout the house incluidng a village on a sideboard and a tiny ornament tree. The newest addition to the ornament tree were ornaments with the names of the hubby, myself, his brother and his brother’s wife. Yes, I am truly a part of the family. If the decorations weren’t enough, there were tons of presents waiting to be opened.

This is the classic American family Christmas, something that seems a bit foreign to me since I grew up in Hawaii. Though we didn’t have snow outside, it was chilly enough to appreciate winter and that Christmas is truly for staying inside warm and cozy. His parents even had stockings hung by the chimney with care and filled with fun little items. Then we adjourned to the Christmas tree where present after present was passed out and everyone took turns opening. Perhaps the highlight of the gift giving was seeing his mom’s face light up a thousand times when his dad gave her a pretty three-stone diamond ring. What a wonderful thing to see after 40-something years of marriage and truly inspirational! Some of our Christmas presents this year were some baby items such as a blanket, towel, wash clothes and onesies. These were our first baby gifts and somewhat of a reality fix that we will be parents next year. We both can’t wait!

Christmas day culminated with a lovely dinner of ham, mashed potatoes and some other fixings. After all was said and done, the hubby asked how I liked the “H***** Family Christmas Experience.” My response was that it wasn’t as overwhelming as I thought it would be and I enjoyed every single minute.

We’re traveling a bit further south this afternoon to celebrate Christmas with the hubby’s family. This will be the first Christmas I celebrate with them in person. Last year the hubby and I were apart but I got some wonderful Christmas gifts and wishes from his family. Christmas is a big holiday for them and one that his mom loves to prepare for. I’m excited to take part this year for the first time. Well I still have tons of things to do before we leave… here’s wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah!

And now a little Christmas Meme from me to you! (borrowed from several other blogs)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Definitely hot chocolate and with lots of whipped cream!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them around the tree? All the presents are wrapped and accounted for!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? We are doing colored lights on the tree this year.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope, but that doesn’t mean there still isn’t a lot of kissing…

5. When do you put your decorations up? We put them up pretty quickly after Thanksgiving but I forget exactly when.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Truthfully, turkey and stuffing.

7. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Uh, there isn’t a Santa Claus?

8. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? When I was a kid, we got to open one present on Christmas eve. When I was single and unable to go anywhere for Christmas, I usually made my own rules and opened everything on Christmas eve. This year the hubby and I will open our gifts to each other on Christmas eve since we are traveling to his parent’s house for Christmas and don’t want to lug our gifts there.

9. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? Probably chocolate chip…

10. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it but I don’t think we’ll get any for Christmas…

11. Can you ice skate? The first and only time I ice skated, I couldn’t, so I guess I can’t.

12. Do you remember your favorite gift? I don’t think I have a favorite gift so much as a favorite Christmas memory. I think I was about 6 or 7 and got up on Christmas morning with all these gifts under the tree. There are pictures of us around the tree with my dad in a lawn chair watching us. You can tell from his face he enjoyed watching my brother and I open our gifts.

13. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Reconnecting with family and friends that I haven’t had the chance to contact during the year.

14. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Usually anything homemade… those are the best desserts!

15. What is your favorite holiday tradition? This is the first year I get to spend Christmas as a married woman with my own family (just the hubs and I for now) so we don’t have any traditions yet.

16. What tops your tree? Right now, we have a silver ornament.

17. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving? Giving… just because I enjoy the surprise and joy on the recipient’s face.

18. What is your favorite Christmas Carol? The Christmas Songs (Chestnust roasting on an open fire…)

19. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? Yum! Especially the peppermint ones!

20. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas, definitely!

I usually don’t answer the phone unless it’s someone I know calling. Today we got one of those annoying “PRV CALL” on our caller ID. The first time it rang, I didn’t answer it but thought that perhaps it might be someone who has a blocked phone number. After all it wasn’t a toll-free number so it might be someone we knew. A few minutes later, the phone rang again from the same “PRV CALL” so I picked it up. Though slightly incoherent, the person asked for someone who wasn’t either myself or my husband. I told them they had the wrong number and thought that would be that. But again a couple of minutes later the phone rang again asking for the same person and, now being slightly annoyed, I told them they had the wrong number. The person, who sounded like an older kid, asked if this was an apartment building so I told them yes it was and again he asked if I knew who this person was and if he could have their phone number. Okay, now being more annoyed, I repeated I didn’t know this person and that I didn’t have the phone numbers of anyone who lived in the apartments. With that, they gave up and I finally hung up on them. If I tell you that you have the wrong number what makes you think I have the phone number of anyone living here and what makes you think if I did have the phone number I would give it out? Does no one teach phone etiquette anymore?

My brother often forwards me little jokes, videos, stories, games, or whatever seems to interest him on the web. That is the extent of how we communicate. We don’t have that touchy-feely kind of relationship that some siblings have but that’s okay because our relationship is what it is. It is neither bad nor is it “Norman Rockwell” wonderful. He’s the kind of brother you’d want to have if you are destined to have a brother but not destined to be close in nature. When our dad passed away almost 5 years ago, my brother was there to comfort my mom and I, and even wrote one of his finer pieces, my dad’s eulogy, filled with warmth and laughter, just like how our dad wanted to be remembered. When I got married this year, my brother walked me down the aisle and gave me away. And when I miscarried in August, he called to tell me he loved me and that everything would be okay. He was right; everything is okay because here I am three and a half months pregnant.

While he may not send me emails recounting his day, the emails I do get still spark a bit of warmth in my heart when I see them despite being filled with nothing but trivial things from the Internet. Sometimes I look at the stuff he sends me, sometimes I don’t. In today’s email there was a link to something from the Jay Leno Show that made me laugh that I almost cried. So from my brother to me and now to you, here’s something to add some laughter into your life: photo booth fun. Make sure you watch until the end!

It’s been a pretty quiet Monday for me even though it’s less than a week before Christmas. We’ve gotten most of our Christmas shopping done if not all, most of the Christmas cards are in the mail and if they aren’t they will be soon and I’ve picked up all my ingredients for the cookies except for some pure vanilla extract. The grocery store I usually shop at was out of the small bottle and I didn’t feel like paying over $7 for the larger bottle. How many times will I use that? Probably not too much since I don’t plan on opening a cookie factory. Just as a “test run” of sorts, I bought a package of cookie dough already made and precut. I guess it’s not a “test run” since they are already mixed together but whatever. I baked those and I think a little too long as they are pretty cripsy. I like my chocolate chip cookies a bit softer but some people like them crispy. Oh well, they still tasted good anyway, at least to me and the growing peanut.

Speaking of the growing peanut, I don’t think I have any of the so called cravings yet. But I’m not sure whether I’m more hungrier than usual. Sometimes I feel like I eat more than I should and too soon after dinner. But I’m not eating anything bad or I try not to. Okay don’t count the two cookies and two small pieces of chocolate candy I had, but I also had two pieces of cinnamon toast and a bottle of water. Water has become my friend and although I was never one to hate water, I’ve learned to drink it more often than soda, coffee, or iced tea. I really miss iced tea and the reason I don’t drink it is because I can’t just have one glass. If I go to a restaurant, I don’t want to get iced tea just for one glass so I just don’t have it at all. It’s rather sad and I miss it a lot. I really equate iced tea, unsweetened that is, with water except for its caffiene. Water is just fine for me though I don’t drink nearly enough or so I don’t think I do. I need to keep better track of my water intake especially since I’m supposed to have at least 64 oz a day or more! No wonder there’s a drought in some parts of the world…