Life On The Other Side

My hubby and I like to “talk” for our cat. I know it sounds pretty weird but we can be pretty weird sometimes. Our cat was actually my cat that I’ve had for the last 8 or so years. She’s a medium haired tortie (tortoise colored) that was found wandering around and I took in. While she can be pretty curmudgeon at times, she is really sweet and loving. Not knowing what to name her, I asked some people that I had worked with at the time for some suggestions and one of them suggested “Mocha.” After several days, I officially called her “Mocha.”

While she’s not the most friendliest cat in the world, she is loving and sweet in her own way. When the hubby and I first met, I was skeptical at how Mocha would react toward him. I’m not sure if it’s intuition but I suspect that she knew if she didn’t like him, it would have to be a choice between him or her. I’m glad I didn’t have to make the decision either way but I also think she was intuitive to know he was and is a great guy. She’s grown to love him even more than she loves me at times I think. But I think it’s because she’s a girl and it seems that girl cats always like men better while boy cats seem to like women better.

So, yeah, we talk for Mocha. A typical conversation might go like this:

Me (talking to Mocha): Are you excited about the baby?
Hubby (talking for Mocha): What’s a baby?
Me: A baby is a little person.
Mocha: I’m a little person. I thought I was the baby?
Me: You are our baby but now you’ll have to be the big sister.
Mocha: I don’t want to be the big sister. I’m the baby.

I know it might sound a bit weird but Mocha is part of our family; she’s our little girl. Like most pet-loving people, our pets are our family. I sometimes wonder what she would actually say if she could articulate her meows into human words. I’m sure she thinks we’re crazy and insane at times but, still, it wouldn’t be our family without her.

I remember a few toys that I had as a baby and surprisingly some of those are still around today though they are much more sophisticated. Unfortunately those toys are for babies age six months and older. I wanted to have some intelligent toys that our infant son could enjoy and also help with his development. Fisher-Price makes some wonderful toys that help with the development of a newborn including helping them to focus and to help strengthen the muscles in his neck. These toys can also be used as he grows older. The two toys we got happen to be on sale at that big bad toy store at a good deal.

These blocks are something I saw in a pregnancy magazine that I really wanted:

The purpose of having the black and white side of the blocks showing to the baby in the crib is that in his first month, he is most attentive to black and white pictures or high-contrast patterns. These will help him to focus and help with his vision. The other sides of the blocks include some tactile material and other interesting patterns. When he gets older, he can take these out and play with them.

The other toy we got is called a “Track & Play” center:

The face at the top will move slowly back and forth to help with focusing and there are other things on this such as a mirror and objects he can press, twist and move around. This has a battery that helps operate the face moving and also includes some music and even a voice that says something like “Ohhh baby” but in a motherly way.

I really like the Fisher-Price toys because of some of the nostalgia connected with the classic toys that I had growing up and because of how they promote certain types of development in a baby. In the first couple of months of our child’s life, he will probably not need as many toys but these are just two to get him started in the right direction when it comes to growth and development.

The latest and greatest pregnancy news today is we had another ultrasound to see if the doctor could get some crucial measurements of the baby: his heart. The last ultrasound we had about 5 weeks ago showed the baby in a breech position and hiding his little ticker. Today showed he had turned and was head down but the position wasn’t much of a help. They weren’t able to see his heart clearly because of the shadows cast by the bones. Our little guy is as stubborn as his two parents put together… oy vey! They still took some other measurements and he is still measuring about a week ahead. He is about one pound, 10 ounces now and heartrate at a strong 150 bpm! They also used a doppler to track the movement of blood in his heart and what the doctor could ascertain was just wonderful. It was flowing beautifully and no cross over problems as she put it which means, I think, the chambers look good. In trying to get pictures of his heart, they did a transvaginal ultrasound in addition to an abdominal one. Not a very pleasant way to have an ultrasound but I was willing to try anything to get the pictures. Unfortunately that wasn’t too successful either though they got a really good look at his brain, ribs, hand, etc. The doctor said his brain looked great and said it with this sort of awe in her voice. I take that as a good sign. At that stage of the ultrasound, I didn’t get to look at any of the pictures since the screen was turned the other way– pooh! The hubby did agree that the pictures were just awesome. I’m just happy that our little boy is doing well. So one last try before the bugger gets too big and too squished inside of me which will be three weeks from now. After that, they said the bones will definitely be harder and he’ll be in a position too difficult to see his heart clearly. I’m not worried at all but I’m glad the doctor wants to thorough.

From my wonderful husband on this day of love! He is not only my husband but my best friend, the father of our child, my lover and my partner in life. I couldn’t ask for anything more in a soulmate; he is the perfect person for me.

After about nine months here, I am finally getting out and meeting other people. Even if it’s only for an hour or two a week, I feel a lot better being out among others, specifically other women. Shortly after getting pregnant, I found a local message board for mommies. Okay, so I’m not an official mommy yet but a mommy-in-training. Nevertheless, I would occasionally post to the board in a couple of its different areas. There are many activities planned through the board impromptu. While about half of the activities tend to be with children (playdates, etc.), the other half are things like lunches, coffee breaks, dinners, etc. The very first lunch I attended was good but not a great experience. I didn’t write about it here directly but indirectly referred to it in an entry. I meant to write a follow up and have started but not finished that entry yet. In any case, after talking to the hubby about it (more like letting it spill), I had decided it wouldn’t deter me from going to other gatherings. I’ve been to two since that first lunch and both of those times have been 100 percent better than the first time. On these last two occasions, I have had nice conversations with many women. I have yet to find a permanent friend or acquaintance but I’m sure it’ll happen as I get to know more and more women. Everyone is so busy with their own family that the small snippets of time they get to go out with other women seem to be the only time they socialize. I’m sure that will be my life soon enough when the baby comes. At least I can say that I am getting out more and finding some very nice people to talk to.

I know it’s been almost a week since my last post. I can’t say that I’ve been extremely busy though I’ve spent some time consoling a good friend from afar who is having “boy” troubles. While it seems that their relationship has almost “bit the dust,” it isn’t quite dead. Talking to her reminded me of my past “boy” troubles and how long ago that all seemed. Somehow it seems appropo to talk about it being the month of February with Valentine’s Day just around the corner. I don’t know how many women or even men can forget their first love especially when they are no longer with that person? It seems that first love leaves an indelible impression on us throughout our lives. It’s not to say that that person was the right one for us in any way. I know for myself, that person wasn’t the one to spend the rest of my life with nor would I ever change what happened. I lived, I loved and I lost, but I also survived. It’s difficult to get across to my friend right now that she will survive and that for whatever reason it was a good thing this relationship didn’t work for her. While she laments over the fact that he could have been the one, I tell her that if he was the one he would have been. She’s a bit younger than I am (she, 27 while I’m 36) but feels so ready for the next phase of her life = marriage, kids, the whole nine yards. When I was 27, I was still figuring out where my life was headed and it wasn’t until I was 34 that the prospect of marriage, kids and the whole nine yards became apparent. It wasn’t because I was finally ready to settle down but because it was the right time to meet the right person. That’s what I tell my friend: you’ll meet the right person and you’ll know that he is the one for you. In this present relationship, she feels second place, unimportant, always trying but never getting anywhere, not ever happy, etc., etc. I told her that a relationship has its ups and downs but that she should feel happy about it and not questioning every single thing. I know things will work itself out that way it should for her.

I know after the break up with my first love, I felt like my world was crumbling. I never thought I would be able to move on but I did. I don’t know how long I was heartbroken but it did take a long time for me to heal. I don’t even mean from the immediate break up but from the hurt and doubt in myself. Admittedly, I was scared when I began having strong feelings for the hubby. I can’t believe after several years, the hurt from this first love relationship could affect me still. But I realized that it was because I was in love. I didn’t just like the hubby but that I was in love with him. As beautiful as love can be, it was also be a cruel reminder of how our world can be shattered in an instant. So while I was scared, I also realized that I could love the way I loved before and that this person loved me the way I should be loved. He makes me the center of his universe and with him I feel deeply loved and protected. So while I don’t regret my first love, it is really this love that matters. It’s everyday and not only days like Valentine’s Day that I remember how lucky I am. I hope my friend can find this type of love and realize that she deserves more that she is getting right now.