I have a confession to make. Ever since I moved here, I haven’t made any new friends. Nada. It’s not like I haven’t tried but it seems that I haven’t really “clicked” with anyone to consider them a friend or even a close acquaintance (you know, the ones you can call up). I am finding living here in the Southeast to be a very interesting experience. As I related to a close friend recently, I feel like I fit into a certain context here. Let me explain.
I have always lived in West until now. I grew up on that side of the country and lived there most of my life. I grew up around many different cultures and ethnic groups. It’s not unusual to be in a group with people of different ethnic origins (e.g. Asians, Caucasians, Hispanics etc.). In fact, it’s really the norm to be in mixed company. Here, groups are somewhat divided. It’s rare that I see a group of people in a restaurant where the members are from different ethnicities unless one of those people are married to someone outside their ethnic group. Sometimes I may see a group of coworkers together with one or two members from a different ethnic background. In that case, it’s the work environment that invites this kind of diversity. If you see a group of women together, friends, for the most part you might see Caucasians and African-Americans but hardly ever Asians or Hispanics mixed in.
Living here has been a lot harder than I imagined. I sometimes don’t feel comfortable in my own skin and have to overcompensate when in the company of others. I almost want to stand up and say that I was born and raised in the U.S. and that not all Asians are transplants. Sure many of the ones here are but not all. It’s not to say that when I am in the company of others they aren’t nice to me but I feel as though they have a hard time connecting with me even though I’m just a regular person. I feel like they are judging me based on my ethnic background. Because of that, they don’t want to make the effort or feel, perhaps, a bit uninterested. The close friend that I related this story empathized with me for which I was grateful.
I can empathize. Remember, I grew up in North Carolina. As an Asian American, it was really difficult finding my niche. I always felt that Southern society had type-casted me into a certain category and they couldn’t look past it. It is hard when people are so ignorant and narrow-minded. I definitely don’t miss living there. Good luck, you’ll find your niche soon enough!
Comment by NC_State_gal — January 27, 2006 @ 11:29 pm
NC_State_gal — It’s disturbing that the problems you encountered years ago are still prevalent here. You would think that Southern society would have evolved a little more since then. Oh I’m sure things are better here but on some level they still remain the same. Thanks for your supportive words.
Comment by Island Girl — January 28, 2006 @ 4:14 am
I feel the same way here in Italy. It is a half closed society and so like my dad says, they reject me a bit. It does not matter how long you have lived in Italy, you are still a foreigner even if you have a passport and citizenship. The difference is I am not anglo at all but I am an American, that is for sure.
Comment by gia — January 31, 2006 @ 10:54 am