Life On The Other Side

Another prenatal appointment today and I don’t think I’ve ever gone to a doctor this regularly in my life. So far, another 1.5 pounds gained for a total of 3.5 pounds over 20 weeks; blood pressure excellent; and iron levels slightly low but not low enough for the doctor to say anything. We saw a different OB this week as our regular OB is off having her baby. I’ve seen this doctor before and he’s okay but we both like other regular OB. My uterus is at my belly button where it should be at this stage. My only stress today was when the nurse came in with the doppler and seemed to have a hard time finding the heartbeat. Not sure what was going on but she thinks the baby was moving around a bit but we heard it ever so briefly. We don’t have another appointment for 4 weeks but we do have another ultrasound in 3 weeks.

As far as the weekend and the pregnancy, we bought a few more baby clothes and I also got some maternity tops. I also put on maternity clothes to go out for the first time yesterday. The hubby said I definitely look pregnant now. I think my tummy will begin to grow a bit more now that I’m in the second half of my pregnancy. I hope I can keep the weight gain to a minimun and so far I’ve been doing really well without compromising the growth and health of the baby. Oh believe me, I am not dieting or doing anything of the sort so I wouldn’t be hurting the baby but I’m also not eating tons of food and I’m certainly not eating for two though there are days that I do. Keeping my weight under control is more for the baby than for me and I hope will aid in a smooth delivery.

I have a confession to make. Ever since I moved here, I haven’t made any new friends. Nada. It’s not like I haven’t tried but it seems that I haven’t really “clicked” with anyone to consider them a friend or even a close acquaintance (you know, the ones you can call up). I am finding living here in the Southeast to be a very interesting experience. As I related to a close friend recently, I feel like I fit into a certain context here. Let me explain.

I have always lived in West until now. I grew up on that side of the country and lived there most of my life. I grew up around many different cultures and ethnic groups. It’s not unusual to be in a group with people of different ethnic origins (e.g. Asians, Caucasians, Hispanics etc.). In fact, it’s really the norm to be in mixed company. Here, groups are somewhat divided. It’s rare that I see a group of people in a restaurant where the members are from different ethnicities unless one of those people are married to someone outside their ethnic group. Sometimes I may see a group of coworkers together with one or two members from a different ethnic background. In that case, it’s the work environment that invites this kind of diversity. If you see a group of women together, friends, for the most part you might see Caucasians and African-Americans but hardly ever Asians or Hispanics mixed in.

Living here has been a lot harder than I imagined. I sometimes don’t feel comfortable in my own skin and have to overcompensate when in the company of others. I almost want to stand up and say that I was born and raised in the U.S. and that not all Asians are transplants. Sure many of the ones here are but not all. It’s not to say that when I am in the company of others they aren’t nice to me but I feel as though they have a hard time connecting with me even though I’m just a regular person. I feel like they are judging me based on my ethnic background. Because of that, they don’t want to make the effort or feel, perhaps, a bit uninterested. The close friend that I related this story empathized with me for which I was grateful.

A couple more of our purchases over the last week including the absolutely necessary infant carrier that goes into a car base and also a stroller for when the baby is a little older.

This is the crib we purchased and the hubby put together for our son. We were very lucky to get it and I especially like the fold down front rather than the slide down front. The baby should enjoy at least his first few years in this little gem. Later it does convert to a toddler bed and can even be made into a full sized bed if we want to. The price was phenomenal and we’re happy with it though most importantly it is very sturdy and safe. Among the other things we also have in the room are a dresser (not shown) and that bookshelf to the left of the crib. In addition, we did some shopping for clothes including getting that cute little one piece sleep and play wear coverall. We’re hoping to get a few more things for the little guy this weekend. I’m really not sure how much clothes a baby needs or how long they will wear it. The joke to the hubby last night after we left with a bag of clothes was that we should keep track the amount of times he wears each piece before he outgrows it. We’re not too concerned being that we did get almost every outfit on sale with the exception of one or two; that’s really the trick to buying baby clothes.

This was our big weekend to get a few major pieces for the baby and to register. Before going to the baby superstore (BRU), we stopped in at a smaller chain store that I had been hearing about. We were lucky to find that they were having their “trimester” sale and we happened upon a crib that we liked at a nice price. It’s pretty simple looking but not entirely too plain. We liked how it looked in the store and found an added bonus of a fold-down front. So instead of one of the sides “sliding” down, about the top fourth of one of the sides folds down with a piano hinge. We like it a lot better because for one thing we get how it works without anyone telling us how it works. We also found a perfect stroller at a great deal too. We still haven’t gotten the infant carrier or a mattress so that will be our next purchases in the coming weeks. After that big purchase, we were off to the the baby superstore to register. I think if it wasn’t raining, that place would have been packed. As it was, it was pretty busy with lots of people registering but at least the aisles weren’t overcrowded. In addition to registering, we purchased some cute onesies and a little blue dinosaur (I didn’t say purple). While the hubby and I don’t really have a “theme” or color scheme for our nursery, we decided to register for a cute airplane bedding set and mobile. I guess we could have chosen baseball since we both love the game but perhaps that will come later when our boy is a little older. Pictures will be forthcoming when the crib gets assembled.

Sometimes it just hits me that I know nothing about being a boy. Yes I have a brother and my dad was the other man in my life growing up and I know about boys but being a boy? Oh boy! The hubby and I talked a bit about toys at lunch yesterday, and of course, he just delighted in naming all the things a boy could possibly like. It’s almost like being excluded from a club. I’m sure my son will appreciate his mom up to a certain age but then he’ll want to be around his daddy. That stands to reason because his daddy will be his role model.

My mom was a bit funny when it came to telling her that she was having a grandson. She congratulated us but expressed that she thought having a boy was going to be a lot harder than having a girl. Why? Well her experience between my brother and I. She said to me that I was a very easy going baby from the day they brought me home and that I slept through the night. Let me preface by saying that both my brother and I are adopted and under different circumstances. When they brought my brother home, he wasn’t a baby anymore but at an age where change is a little hard (around 3 or so I think). I have heard stories of my brother’s bedwetting days and of his stubborness. I, on the other hand, was around three and a half months old when they brought me home. According to most baby books, by that age babies normally will sleep through the night. There was a bit of laughter when I told my mom that. It’s nice sharing this pregnancy with my mom because she was never pregnant and hearing her learn just like I do every step of the way is rather nice. I don’t have to listen to her comparing what she went through with what I am going through. I know one thing for sure, when the baby is born she’ll be there to give me advice whether I want it or not. That’s okay because I’ll need all the advice I can handle.

Yes, we’re having a son! The above ultrasound picture points out clearly to the technician our son’s “bits.” If you ask me, I can’t tell but I trust the tech has seen more than her share of “bits.” We’re thrilled and excited, and still taking it all in. As far as everything the technician looked at this morning, our son seems to be healthy with no noticeable problems. That’s a big relief for us since we opted not to have an amnio. However, our son is proving to be stubborn like his parents by being in a breech position right now and not cooperating. That being said (not the breech part but the not cooperating), we have another ultrasound scheduled for five weeks from now. Yep, we get to see the little fellow again and hopefully he won’t be so stubborn. Now we get to start planning the nursery and all that other fun stuff!

All throughout this pregnancy I’ve been pretty calm and laid back. In fact, despite what many people think about pregnant women getting all emotional, I wasn’t one of those women. Yes, I’ve read postings from pregnant women about wanting to go ballistic at work or while they were out shopping or even during driving. I sort of laughed at those because I am not one of those women.

Today is one of those days where I could go upstairs and strangle the person that lives above me. Upstairs lives a couple with two kids in a two bedroom apartment and one of those kids is around two years old. All day I hear things being dropped, running around, sometimes faint crying and other noises. For the most part they don’t bother me at all because they are random. But today was different. It sounded like someone was bouncing up and down on one spot in the living room making this annoying creaking noise. The noise went on for awhile and even when I tried to drown it out by making the television louder, it didn’t stop. I am not kidding when I told the hubby that I wanted to buy one of those plastic balls and bounce it on the ceiling. I can handle the walking and the dropping of things but a freaking creaking noise going on for what seems like forever is just too much. At least I can go into the bedroom or our office to get away from it. Okay, girl, calm down… deep breaths…

The last week or so I’ve been under the weather emotionally. Many things go through my mind on a daily basis that I worry about. Some of which I can talk about with the hubby and some that are very hard to talk about. This way of life is still a learning experience for me. For the last so many years before we got married I’ve only had to answer to one person (me) and occasionally another person or two (the parents) so it’s hard to go from that to this. Believe me that the hubby is my absolute best friend but even when he wasn’t, it wasn’t like I told my best friend everything. I’ve never told another soul everything about me. I just don’t think you can. I know I don’t know absolutely everything about the hubby and I know it’s not possible. But what I know is enough. As I said before, I am still learning and I don’t doubt that I will continue to live and learn.

I am getting bigger pregnancy wise. It seems like in the last week, I feel the weight of being pregnant. I am starting to look more pregnant but not so much “cute” pregnant. Ah well… perhaps it will change in the next few weeks. As far as feeling the weight, I can tell that I am starting to feel it when I walk around because I am not as “spry” as I used to be. I am beginning to waddle more though I know it’s not too noticeable right now. I’m still loving being pregnant though and am amazed at how my tummy grows day by day. The hubby is thrilled to and I know he’ll be even more thrilled when the baby starts to kick up a storm. That will probably happen in a few weeks.

I don’t like to make any resolutions, especially for the New Year. If you must know why, it’s because I’m the quintessential rooster. What I mean isn’t summarized in the description in the link but what my mom always told me growing up. She told me I have no patience for things and she’s right. I’m one of those people that would read a book cover to cover in one sitting if I could. Or I had to finish a puzzle from start to finish NOW and not in stages. Forget teaching me things like crocheting, knitting, or cross stitching because if I couldn’t finish it quickly, I’d leave it and never come back to it. My mom equated this to the life of a chicken which could not stay in one place pecking at food for long. The chicken would peck, peck here and then move and peck, peck there. She would tell me that I had no patience and that I would leave things unfinished.

I admit there are things in my life that are unfinished. But who doesn’t have things unfinished? But there are things that I have finished in my life so don’t think that I never finish anything. As far as resolutions go, there’s not much I’d like to resolve this year except to have a smooth pregnancy and birth, and be the best mother and wife I can be. Yes, these are quite open-ended but I rather resolve to do something open-ended than not do anything at all. I wish I could be one of those people that would resolve to lose weight, climb a mountain, or read all the classics but I rather not because I would feel like quite the failure if I never complete each or any of those. Hopefully I’ll come back to this entry in a year and smile with accomplishment instead of shake my head in disgust.