Life On The Other Side

I have some really great friends. They have basically been around whether we’ve kept in touch regularly or not. That was even more evident when I celebrated my wedding in June. I had friends who came and I had friends who couldn’t come but acknowledged my day. Unfortunately, I have one friend who I haven’t heard from since I told her I was getting married last year. She and I have been friends since my very first semester in college although we were never roommates nor took any classes together. She was actually a friend of a friend who became a good friend of mine. Sure we’ve had our rough times but we’ve always kept in touch somehow whether it was the occasional phone call, occasional email, or even a greeting card or two. This has been the longest we’ve gone without any type of communication.

This friend is six years older than I am and always seemed put together. She’s smart, pretty, independent, opinionated, family-oriented and adventurous. And she was always a good friend. We spent quite a bit of time together after my ex-boyfriend and I broke up sometime in my third year of college. She was always around to talk and to give the best advice she could give. She is the type of woman who always had a boyfriend as well and could pretty much go out with anyone she wanted to. But as far as having long lasting relationships, well, she never seemed to get to that elusive place whether it was true love or true commitment. I never thought much about it because I figured it was her independence that kept her from it.

A few years ago, she met a younger man who was about 10 years her junior. She had completed college courses in computing and they met in the computer lab. He was rather shy as I understood but bold enough to ask her out. I met him once and he seemed like a nice enough guy. After being in a relationship for a few years (more than any other guy before), she mentioned they might move and it sounded like they were really solidifying her relationship. She even visited me while I lived in Las Vegas and was interested in attending law school there while her boyfriend would get his MBA.

When I emailed her last fall to tell her about meeting the hubby for the first time, she mentioned that she had found her own true love. However, the person she mentioned was not this younger boyfriend. I was a bit stunned and caught off guard. Of course, I emailed her back to ask her who this person was. She said he was a co-worker who, one night during a company happy hour, caught her eye and she felt something. I can’t remember her exact words but all I remember was that she said he was her true love and that as hard as it was, she had to be true to her heart. She broke up with the younger boyfriend and opted for a guy closer to her age who was in the midst of a divorce.

While I was happy that she openly could say this man was the love of her life and that with him she was truly happy, I had mixed feelings. To this day I can’t pinpoint what I felt. She was still my friend and as long as she was happy that was okay. A few months later I sent out my wedding invitations including one to her. I never heard anything back, not even a decline. I was truly disappointed and hurt. I thought at the least she would acknowledge my happy occasion but she never did. I’m not sure what she is doing today but as I think about sending out Christmas cards, I wonder if I should include her. In a way I want to because I hope by some miracle I will hear from her. The funny part is that I really don’t expect to.