Life On The Other Side

It’s been a good year for me with lots of changes, more than I could have imagined one year ago. The year started off a bit rocky with some family stife, mine specifically, and a trip to California for the fiance (now husband) to meet my side of the family. What could have proved to be end of the beginning turned out to be okay after all. The next few months were a blur as I prepared to leave a job I had for 5 years at a place I was at for 10 years. In addition, I had to leave the city that I called home for the last 10 years and move 2,200 miles to be with my future husband. Seems like the end of April was another blur as good friends threw me a bridal shower and helped me pack up my life and get me on the road. With the fiance (husband) driving and the most saddest cat in the world locked in a carrier, I left the lights of Sin City for my new home in the southeast.

The first couple of months here were busy as I finished up preparation for my wedding out West in Los Angeles (long story) and who said procrastination doesn’t pay off as I waited until almost the last minute to finish up things like the program, place cards, etc. After a glorious and beautiful week in Los Angeles, we returned as husband and wife to set up our lovely home. It hasn’t been quite as difficult as I thought it might be going from living single to living as a couple. The hubby was (is) good about sharing his space and letting me “nest.” His place has gone from a true bachelor pad to one that reflects both of us.

We found out in late August we were pregnant only to suffer a miscarriage in early Sept. Nothing major caused it just nature’s way of letting us know “just not yet.” Well a couple of months after that, we discovered we were expecting again and now here we are 16 weeks and two days and counting. Though we’ve only been married a short while, we’re ready to have a family. It’s actually something we talked about before got married and though it would be nice to be a little more settled, we know this is the right time for us.

I’ve (We’ve) gone through a lot of changes in 2005 and I know there’s more in store for me (us) in 2006. The prospect of starting a family is a bit scary for me and I hope I can be the kind of wife and mother that would make my husband proud. Have a wonderful and safe celebration as you ring in the New Year. We don’t have much plans except to enjoy our first New Years together in the same place with a kiss at midnight. See you in 2006!

In addition to being parents ourselves, we will also become “aunty” and “uncle” at the same time. Huh, you say? Well, my hubby’s brother and his wife are also expecting and their due date is just a couple of days before ours. Imagine that! The nice thing will be, as my sis-in-law puts it, “the cousins will be the same age.” Yes, we hope the cousins-to-be will be close and rely on each other. I think it’ll also bring us (the parents) closer together (not that we aren’t close) but in a way that our kids will have each other to play with. They have already had a preliminary view into what their baby is since my sis-in-law just had an amniocenthesis though it’s through the ultrasound and not the results yet since that takes awhile. We have a couple more weeks to find out ours and that’s through the ultrasound since I declined the amnio and all other needle-ly tests after the first trimester screening. My sis-in-law had a rather good feeling what the baby might be because of dreams and somewhat of an “intuition” and unfortunately their tech. determined quite the opposite. I still don’t have a clue or have that feeling of what we might be having. So far I’ve had one dream (girl) and that’s about it. If you ask me my true feeling, I think boy so go figure. Boy, girl… my bottomline has always been healthy baby no matter what. We’ll see what’s there or not there soon enough.

our peanut!

This ultrasound was on Dec. 5th and here’s our little one resting comfortably in the tummy of his/her mommy. At the time of this ultrasound, I was 12 weeks and 4 days; today I am 15 week and 6 days. I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone by. We certainly can’t wait for the big ultrasound on Jan. 17th which will tell us the sex of our baby. Unfortunately I don’t seem to have an intuition as to what it will be. I just hope that he or she will be healthy and strong! Some people tell us they think it’s a girl or it’s a boy based on how sick I was during the first trimester or how fast the heart rate is (at the time of this ultrasound it was 161 bpm) or how quickly we conceived after getting married. But all of that is “old wive’s tales” at best. I just hope this tiny one will show us the “goods” so that we can start planning the nursery. I don’t think we’re too traditional with blue for boy or pink for girl but we’d sure like to get a few things that reflect the gender. So far all our gifts (thankfully) have been neutral and our nursery will most likely not be gender specific but those little outfits are sure darling. Maybe next time we’ll get a picture with him or her waving.

My hubby dubbed this year’s Christmas as the “H***** Family Christmas Experience.” This is the first year I celebrated Christmas with his family since I am now officially part of the “family.” Last year I had the ancillary Christmas experience as the fiance who was over 2,000 miles away and that was still a bit overwhelming with a number of things his parents got me.

I didn’t know what to expect when the hubby said his mom goes “all out” for Christmas. What he meant was that they (his parents) decorate a live Christmas tree which was absolutely beautiful. In addition, a train runs around the tree and there are little decorations throughout the house incluidng a village on a sideboard and a tiny ornament tree. The newest addition to the ornament tree were ornaments with the names of the hubby, myself, his brother and his brother’s wife. Yes, I am truly a part of the family. If the decorations weren’t enough, there were tons of presents waiting to be opened.

This is the classic American family Christmas, something that seems a bit foreign to me since I grew up in Hawaii. Though we didn’t have snow outside, it was chilly enough to appreciate winter and that Christmas is truly for staying inside warm and cozy. His parents even had stockings hung by the chimney with care and filled with fun little items. Then we adjourned to the Christmas tree where present after present was passed out and everyone took turns opening. Perhaps the highlight of the gift giving was seeing his mom’s face light up a thousand times when his dad gave her a pretty three-stone diamond ring. What a wonderful thing to see after 40-something years of marriage and truly inspirational! Some of our Christmas presents this year were some baby items such as a blanket, towel, wash clothes and onesies. These were our first baby gifts and somewhat of a reality fix that we will be parents next year. We both can’t wait!

Christmas day culminated with a lovely dinner of ham, mashed potatoes and some other fixings. After all was said and done, the hubby asked how I liked the “H***** Family Christmas Experience.” My response was that it wasn’t as overwhelming as I thought it would be and I enjoyed every single minute.

We’re traveling a bit further south this afternoon to celebrate Christmas with the hubby’s family. This will be the first Christmas I celebrate with them in person. Last year the hubby and I were apart but I got some wonderful Christmas gifts and wishes from his family. Christmas is a big holiday for them and one that his mom loves to prepare for. I’m excited to take part this year for the first time. Well I still have tons of things to do before we leave… here’s wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah!

And now a little Christmas Meme from me to you! (borrowed from several other blogs)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Definitely hot chocolate and with lots of whipped cream!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them around the tree? All the presents are wrapped and accounted for!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? We are doing colored lights on the tree this year.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope, but that doesn’t mean there still isn’t a lot of kissing…

5. When do you put your decorations up? We put them up pretty quickly after Thanksgiving but I forget exactly when.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Truthfully, turkey and stuffing.

7. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? Uh, there isn’t a Santa Claus?

8. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? When I was a kid, we got to open one present on Christmas eve. When I was single and unable to go anywhere for Christmas, I usually made my own rules and opened everything on Christmas eve. This year the hubby and I will open our gifts to each other on Christmas eve since we are traveling to his parent’s house for Christmas and don’t want to lug our gifts there.

9. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? Probably chocolate chip…

10. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it but I don’t think we’ll get any for Christmas…

11. Can you ice skate? The first and only time I ice skated, I couldn’t, so I guess I can’t.

12. Do you remember your favorite gift? I don’t think I have a favorite gift so much as a favorite Christmas memory. I think I was about 6 or 7 and got up on Christmas morning with all these gifts under the tree. There are pictures of us around the tree with my dad in a lawn chair watching us. You can tell from his face he enjoyed watching my brother and I open our gifts.

13. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Reconnecting with family and friends that I haven’t had the chance to contact during the year.

14. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Usually anything homemade… those are the best desserts!

15. What is your favorite holiday tradition? This is the first year I get to spend Christmas as a married woman with my own family (just the hubs and I for now) so we don’t have any traditions yet.

16. What tops your tree? Right now, we have a silver ornament.

17. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving? Giving… just because I enjoy the surprise and joy on the recipient’s face.

18. What is your favorite Christmas Carol? The Christmas Songs (Chestnust roasting on an open fire…)

19. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? Yum! Especially the peppermint ones!

20. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas, definitely!

I usually don’t answer the phone unless it’s someone I know calling. Today we got one of those annoying “PRV CALL” on our caller ID. The first time it rang, I didn’t answer it but thought that perhaps it might be someone who has a blocked phone number. After all it wasn’t a toll-free number so it might be someone we knew. A few minutes later, the phone rang again from the same “PRV CALL” so I picked it up. Though slightly incoherent, the person asked for someone who wasn’t either myself or my husband. I told them they had the wrong number and thought that would be that. But again a couple of minutes later the phone rang again asking for the same person and, now being slightly annoyed, I told them they had the wrong number. The person, who sounded like an older kid, asked if this was an apartment building so I told them yes it was and again he asked if I knew who this person was and if he could have their phone number. Okay, now being more annoyed, I repeated I didn’t know this person and that I didn’t have the phone numbers of anyone who lived in the apartments. With that, they gave up and I finally hung up on them. If I tell you that you have the wrong number what makes you think I have the phone number of anyone living here and what makes you think if I did have the phone number I would give it out? Does no one teach phone etiquette anymore?

My brother often forwards me little jokes, videos, stories, games, or whatever seems to interest him on the web. That is the extent of how we communicate. We don’t have that touchy-feely kind of relationship that some siblings have but that’s okay because our relationship is what it is. It is neither bad nor is it “Norman Rockwell” wonderful. He’s the kind of brother you’d want to have if you are destined to have a brother but not destined to be close in nature. When our dad passed away almost 5 years ago, my brother was there to comfort my mom and I, and even wrote one of his finer pieces, my dad’s eulogy, filled with warmth and laughter, just like how our dad wanted to be remembered. When I got married this year, my brother walked me down the aisle and gave me away. And when I miscarried in August, he called to tell me he loved me and that everything would be okay. He was right; everything is okay because here I am three and a half months pregnant.

While he may not send me emails recounting his day, the emails I do get still spark a bit of warmth in my heart when I see them despite being filled with nothing but trivial things from the Internet. Sometimes I look at the stuff he sends me, sometimes I don’t. In today’s email there was a link to something from the Jay Leno Show that made me laugh that I almost cried. So from my brother to me and now to you, here’s something to add some laughter into your life: photo booth fun. Make sure you watch until the end!

It’s been a pretty quiet Monday for me even though it’s less than a week before Christmas. We’ve gotten most of our Christmas shopping done if not all, most of the Christmas cards are in the mail and if they aren’t they will be soon and I’ve picked up all my ingredients for the cookies except for some pure vanilla extract. The grocery store I usually shop at was out of the small bottle and I didn’t feel like paying over $7 for the larger bottle. How many times will I use that? Probably not too much since I don’t plan on opening a cookie factory. Just as a “test run” of sorts, I bought a package of cookie dough already made and precut. I guess it’s not a “test run” since they are already mixed together but whatever. I baked those and I think a little too long as they are pretty cripsy. I like my chocolate chip cookies a bit softer but some people like them crispy. Oh well, they still tasted good anyway, at least to me and the growing peanut.

Speaking of the growing peanut, I don’t think I have any of the so called cravings yet. But I’m not sure whether I’m more hungrier than usual. Sometimes I feel like I eat more than I should and too soon after dinner. But I’m not eating anything bad or I try not to. Okay don’t count the two cookies and two small pieces of chocolate candy I had, but I also had two pieces of cinnamon toast and a bottle of water. Water has become my friend and although I was never one to hate water, I’ve learned to drink it more often than soda, coffee, or iced tea. I really miss iced tea and the reason I don’t drink it is because I can’t just have one glass. If I go to a restaurant, I don’t want to get iced tea just for one glass so I just don’t have it at all. It’s rather sad and I miss it a lot. I really equate iced tea, unsweetened that is, with water except for its caffiene. Water is just fine for me though I don’t drink nearly enough or so I don’t think I do. I need to keep better track of my water intake especially since I’m supposed to have at least 64 oz a day or more! No wonder there’s a drought in some parts of the world…

While I love to cook and am adept enough to make meals that will not leave anyone sick at my table, I am not particularly good at making desserts. Well some desserts I can make and have gotten requests for more but those came from a box and who couldn’t make dessert from a box, right? On the other hand, making desserts from scratch isn’t really my thing and early in life (probably around the time I took home economics in 7th grade or so), I learned that cookies were not my forte. I could make a decent cake and even a pie but cookies, for some reason, didn’t quite come out. So what am I attempting to do this year? Make some cookies, of course, and from scratch no less.

This venture into something I decided a long time ago that wasn’t to be is happening for two reasons: 1) I received a lovely Kitchenaid mixer as a wedding gift and 2) I will be going to the in-laws for Christmas and would like to at least show I can make something from scratch. It’s really the first reason more so than the second one though a better reason it’s the holidays and I’d, at least, like to be able to make cookies for the holidays. I’ve picked two fairly easy recipes and one isn’t really cookies but more of a chocolate candy thing. A former co-worker of mine used to make it and though the ingredients may sound strange, it tastes rather good together: saltines, brown suger, butter and chocolate chips. The other is really a cookie and goes by a number of different names: Russian tea cakes, Mexican wedding cookies, or Danish wedding cookies. I’m really making it because the hubby loves Danish wedding cookies and it’s in honor of his Danish heritage!

We’ll see how the cookies turn out to be. I’d like to be Mrs. Cleaver so that my little “Wally” or “Wall-ette” will be proud of his or her mother when it comes time to bring goodies to class. And, if I’m not, I know where we can probably get cookies close enough to homemade.

It’s wonderful to see men enjoying fatherhood. Two of my husband’s college friends emailed us to let us know their wives had given birth. Both couples and their newly born baby girls are doing fine and just in time for their first Christmas. My husband eagerly called them to send our congratulations and to let them know that, he too, would soon be a father. I gathered from overhearing the conversations there were lots of excitement all around. I’m sure it’s exciting to see the changes they’ve all gone through since their early days of college. Most of my husband’s friends are married and have children now. Only one of his friends is neither married or has any children. Before I came into the picture, I suspect my hubby and this last single frined wondered who would be the “last man standing.” I think to some degree, the hubby was relieved it wasn’t him but then again it just happened that way. Don’t think that he would get married so that he didn’t have to be the last one out there.

On the other hand, several of my college friends are still unmarried with no children. Of the ones married, they don’t have any children. What does that say when it comes of men versus women? While not all of my college friends are women, most of them are. In fact, most of my college women friends are older than I am. I used to wonder if I would ever get married but I never felt the pressure to since most of my friends were not. I think you feel the pressure when you start getting together with your friends and they show up with boyfriends or girlfriends and eventually spouses and children. I am sorry to say that I haven’t had the opportunity to meet some of my friend’s spouses or children because I rarely get back home to Hawaii. And even when I do, the trip is usually short and not convenient for friends that work. I hope that changes and the hubby and I can go there soon either before or soon after the baby is able to.