Life On The Other Side

For now my need to have a good friend around is quelled. One of my friends is in town this week for work and decided to extend her weekend and spend a little time with us and getting to know the place I have come to call my home. Like myself, she recently got married and to a southern boy as well though they make their home in San Francisco where they met. But unlike myself, she has known her husband for about five or more years and lived with him for about two before tying the knot.

It’s been fun trading stories about our weddings, the aftermath, our new in-laws and, of course, our new husbands. She was able to attend my wedding in L.A. while I wasn’t able to attend her official wedding in Hawaii a month later. But she did have an “encore” wedding and reception in the hometown of her husband’s parents which we were able to drive to last month. I am just relieved that my in-laws did not insist that we have another wedding or reception in their hometown; one wedding and reception is hard enough to plan.

We haven’t quite planned anything out for the weekend though I know my friend is not the type of person that needs to plan out her time here. She is content doing or not doing anything in particular. There are a few ideas on the agenda but we’ll have to see what will float our boat. She leaves early on Sunday so there’s not much time to plan for.

We had a quiet weekend preparing for our first official visitor as a couple in our home. My friend will be in town a few days before coming to stay with us a couple of nights. There’s not much she requested to do except eat some “Carolina bbq” and at some other good restaurants. Unfortunately we’re at a loss as to where to go since we don’t try many new restaurants ourselves. The ones we’ve gotten around to trying and liked or rather the hubby has tried and liked are restaurants that are chains (i.e. PF Changs, Maggiano’s). We’ve been to a couple of Charlotte restaurants but nothing really that stands out. The hubby did suggest taking her to a sushi place which I immediately shot down because she is coming from San Francisco which has probably some of the best sush restaurants. I think the ones here pale in comparison especially since our raw fish doesn’t look fresh to me. There are a few places I’ve heard about but haven’t tried so we might venture there. In truth, there aren’t many opportunities to eat while she is here so there isn’t much to worry about. She does like coffee or rather chai tea now, so we’ll visit a couple of coffee places that aren’t chains that I know about.

Life has been especially stressful for me this year and I don’t necessarily mean stressful in a bad way. If you’ve ever taken one of those life stress tests, you know what I mean. Anything in your life can be stressful, even a happy event such as a marriage. I’ve had my share of stressful events this year: moving, marriage and medical. When I took the test, I scored 250 which is in the middle; I am neither low nor high on the stress scale. In any case, I’ve endured some stress. It’s been a little hard for me living away from the friends I’ve made over the past few years and I haven’t made any friends here yet. Yes, sad to say or even admit to the fact that I have no friends outside of the hubby here. I don’t even know where to begin to make friends here and I don’t have a job yet. I guess I’ve been a little depressed and it’s been affecting the way I approach my life right now. I’ve applied for a few jobs but I should be applying for more and every day. I hate to say this but part of me just doesn’t have the drive to find a job right now and while it’s not too much of a problem, it will become one soon enough. Believe me, I am totally aware of it.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the time I spend with the hubby (my best friend) but a girl needs her girlfriends and no one I’ve met, of the few people I’ve met, have even come close to the kind of friends I’d like to have around me. I’m not saying that to be conceited or arrogant, but it’s true. When you’ve found your friends, especially girlfriends, it’s hard find replacements. So I’m glad that one of my friends will be in town next week even for a few days. She’s sneaking in some time on a business trip to spend a few days with me. While our friendship has waxed and waned over the last few years, this past year it gained its strength again and I’m happy to say that we’ve found a happy medium. I’m glad for that and it’s taken a little while for it to be where it’s at. It’ll be fun to spend time just hanging out with a woman friend again.

We got back a little later in the evening than we wanted to last night from our quick trip to celebrate the birthdays of the hub’s parents (my in-laws). It was a nice affair with presents for them and going out to dinner at a rather swanky French restaurant in their town. Okay it wasn’t too terribly swanky but nonetheless French. The atmosphere was a bit over done as far as things “French” but the food was good. In all, the weekend was mostly about family and a rather relaxing time.

On the drive home, I was telling the hubs how much I enjoy spending time with his family. His dad tells the most animated stories about family incidents and his mom is such the Southern woman though not as stuffy. I guess spending time with them, especially his dad, made me a little sad. I still miss my dad and wonder how he would have handled all of this… my husband, his family and my new life in the South. I am most certain that my dad would have loved the hubs because they are so similar, and would have enjoyed “talking story” as they say in Hawaii with the hub’s dad. It’s been over four years since my dad passed away.

I guess I started to miss my family in general being that they are so far away. It’s wonderful that we live near family at all and I am happy for that. I guess with the holidays approaching, my thoughts turn toward family, particularly mine. The hubs and I haven’t really discussed what we’ll be doing during the holidays but for the most part, his are generally governed by his job meaning that he can’t really take additional time off. I hope to see my mom for a little bit since she will be on the mainland and it’ll be more economical and easier for me to meet up with her. Time to start figuring out our family holiday time.

We’re off to visit his ‘rents, my in-laws, for a couple of days for their birthdays. Conveniently, both of their birthdays happen to be around the same time. Nothing too exciting planned except dinner out at a French restaurant in their town. See you next week!

When do you get too old to wear something? Today I walked into a store that obviously had clothes for the younger generation in mind as in younger than a mid-30 year old woman. That’s on top of the fact that I don’t exactly have the body of Katie Holmes, Jennifer Lopez, or anyone closely resembling these women. After trying on a few pieces that didn’t quite hit my fancy, I found some jeans that had a rather short zipper and said they were “hipsters” as in they are to be worn on your hip. I got them on and zipped, and well they were comfortable but I suddenly felt like I was 16 again. After telling the hubby about these jeans, he seemed intrigued and said he wanted to see me in them. Maybe I’ll buy them if only to feel 16 again for a little bit.

Urgent care here is really urgent! Since the hubby had a slight fever again this morning and wasn’t feeling much better than yesterday, he took another personal day and went to the doctor this morning. We don’t have a regular physician other than the OB/GYN for me, so we had to go to quick care or urgent care which is a walk-in clinic. Most places with that type of clinic tend to be rather busy and not very quick or urgent when it comes to seeing patients. We were pleasantly surprised to walk in this morning and find only one other person waiting. Once the receptionist put their info into the computer, they were called back immediately. Same thing with the hubby… once he was entered in, the nurse came and called him into a room. It took only about 30 seconds after the nurse asked her questions and did the routine examination of blood pressure, heart rate and temperature before the doctor appeared. I would say we were in and out within 20 minutes! I have been so impressed with the heath care providers here so far and expecially the Carolinas Medical System.

The hubby called in sick to work because he had a low grade fever which crept a bit higher before “breaking” this evening. Hopefully he will be feeling a lot better tomorrow. I remember a conversation we had before we got married about what circumstances would cause the other person to be grouchy. For the hubs, it was being sick. He told me that he usually is grouchy when he’s sick but then again who isn’t? Being sick is no fun especially when your head is pounding, your nose is dripping and your body is aching. And even though you want to sleep the day away, you just can’t. Surprisingly he wasn’t the least bit grouchy but I suppose he could have been. I am going to attribute this to the fact that I was being a good wife taking care of him. Who wouldn’t want someone to go to the store for you or make you some nice tea? I remember being sick when I was single and living by myself, and having to go to the grocery store to get some juice. There were times I just wanted to crawl into my bed and have it all end because I was so sick. In all, he’s been a good patient and taking my advice to drink more water and taking medication that will help him sleep.

So the hubby came home Friday evening after being away a week with flowers and a couple of other little gifts. Like I mentioned, this was probably the first time we’ve spent this much time apart since we’ve been together in the same household. I am so glad to have him home again and I know he is glad to be home again. Because of our time apart, this weekend was solely our time to spend together. We slept in on Saturday and Sunday, and had rather leisure days going out to lunch and exploring this town. I think we’ve been pretty good about seeing something new on a regular basis whether it is a new restaurant, store, or area. The funny part is that when we were living our separate lives, I’m sad to say that we didn’t go out this much. But it seems like we are eager to experience life and life together. Perhaps we are both flowers blooming finally.

I can say this since we didn’t meet until our mid-30s. I think most people expect to meet that special someone in their 20s, probably during their mid-20s. By their late-20s they are settling down and beginning their lives together. Yes, perhaps that isn’t the norm nowadays but in an ideal world, it’d probably work that way. Of course the hubby wishes we could have met earlier but it just wasn’t our time and now it is. I’m just happy we are together and we have this amazing relationship.

Fall is definitely around the corner here. The weather has steadily been in the mid-80s (yay!) and the mornings have cooled off considerably. This morning it’s only 61 degrees! What a difference compared to a few weeks ago when we were hovering near the three-digit mark during the day with humidity. While it seems pretty insignificant that fall is coming to most people, for me it’s a wonderful time of the year. Besides the slew of holidays to come (yikes, Christmas is right around the corner!), I get to bask in the wonderment of a change in season. Last year when I visited the hubby at the end of October, fall was late. The weather was still warm and the leaves had only begun to change color. This year, I get to see the beautiful autumn foliage and snuggle with the hubby. We also get to spend our first Thanksgiving and Christmas together in the same place. I was here for Halloween but it was overshadowed by his beautiful proposal of marriage a few days before. The fall will always hold a special place in my heart because of that. I wonder how many wives remember the moment their husband proposed to them? By no means was my hubby’s proposal extravagant or complicated. It was simple but filled with so much meaning and love and promise of a lifetime of happiness. We’ve gotten off to a good start and our three-month anniversary is in another week. We’ve experienced much in these few months but it’s miniscule compared to what is to come but we’ll face those challeges and joys as well.